zenwannabe:

a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.

the prospect of death becomes increasingly seductive on a daily basis

bitchycode:

floraldemise:

one of the funniest things about Pokemon and knowing it was made by an autistic man is that in the Pokemon universe, making eye contact with someone is literally canonically saying “you wanna fight” 

this is just one of many examples of trainers saying similar things like this 

partyyghost:

good night. sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite. tonight. imma fight. till we see the sunlight. tik tok. on the clock. but the party don’t stop.

suspend:

i fall in love with simple things like getting “good morning” “good night” “be safe” and “text me when you’re home” messages